Hash Hymnal

No Balls

Oh come all you hashers give ear to my tale
This short little story will make you turn pale
It's about a young bimbo so pretty and tall
She married a man who had no balls at all

No balls.  No balls.  She married a man with no balls at all.
No balls.  No bals.  She married a man with no balls.

How well she remembered the night they were wed
She rolled back the sheets and crept into bed
She felt for his penis how strange it was small
She felt for his sack he had no balls at all


Oh mother, oh mother, oh pity my luck
I've married a man who's unable to fuck
His toolbox is empty, his screwdriver's small
The impotent wretch has got no balls at all


Oh daughter, oh daughter now don't be a sap
I had the same trouble with your dear old pap
There's many a hasher who'll come to the call
Of the wife of a man who has no balls at all


So the pretty young girl took her mother's advice
And found the whole thing exceedingly nice
An eleven pound baby was born in the fall
The poor little bastard had NO BALLS AT ALL


Has Anyone Seen My Twat?

Has anyone seen my twat?
My little Georgia peach.
It's mostly shaved with a little bit of fuzz
And always within reach.
It lubes right up in the morning and leaves a big Wet Spot.
Has anybody seen, has anybody seen, has anybody seen my twat!

I Don't Want to be a Housewife

I don't want to be a housewife
I'd much rather be a whore
I'd rather turn some tricks, involving footlong pricks
Housework is a bore, gore blimey
I don't want to do his laundry
I don't want to cook his fucking food (fucking food!)
And if I'm getting laid, I should be getting paid
Or else I'm really getting screwed, gore blimey

Peter Penis

My boyfriend has a first name, it's P-E-T-E-R
My boyfriend has a second name, it's P-E-N-I-S
Oh, I love to fuck him everyday, 
And if you ask me why I'll say -
Because Peter Penis has a way with my V-A-G-I-N-A

Here's to the Bimbos

Here's to the bimbos who wear the hash shoes
We spend all your money and drink all your booze
We've lost all our cherries, but it's not a sin
We've still go the box that the cherries came in!

Take Me Home from the Hash

Take me home from the hash
Take me back to your room
Buy me some condoms for sex, sex, sex
Ribbed and french ticklers are always the best
For it's push, push, push to the climax
If YOU don't come it's a shame
For it's oooh!  aaah!  Oh my god!
And I don't know your name -

My Pussy is Heaven on Earth

Ooh wankers do you know what I'm worth?
My pussy is heaven on earth
They say it's warm and fuzzy at first
Pretty soon you'll be immersed
Just remember that I cum first
My pussy is heaven on earth

It's a Small Dick After All

Well it's not too long, and it's not too thick
It gets hard too slow, and it cums too quick
It gets lost in her twat, but it's all that he's got
It's a small dick after all

It's a small dick after all -
It's a small dick after all -
Always limp from alcohol
It's a small, small dick

She's a Little Sexpot

She's a little sexpot short and stout
Here are her handles, here is her twat
When she gets all worked up hear her shout
"Bend me over and eat me out!"

A Moose

A moose, a moose, I want a moose
I've never had anything quite like a moose
I've had lots of lover, by god I've been loose
But I've never had anything quite like a moose

La Cock

LaCock'll choke me
LaCock'll choke me
It's too big for my small throat
LaCock'll choke me
LaChock'll choke me
Get off my face you big fat bloke!

I Like Cock

I like cock
I like cock
See how they rise
See how they rise
They come in all shapes, all sizes, and brands
They fit so nice, they feel so grand
There's nothing finer than making them stand
I like cock

Millie Darling

Oh your asshole's like a stovepipe Millie darling
And the nipples on your tits are turning green
There's a thousand flies swarming round your pussy
You're the nastiest fucking bitch I've ever seen

The Sexual Life of a Camel

Oh the sexual life of a camel is stranger than anyone thinks
At the height of the mating season he tries to bugger the sphinx
But the sphinx's posterior orifice is filled with the sands of the Nile
Which accounts for the hump of the camel 
And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile

Rubber Dicky

Rubber dicky, you're the one
You make bedtime so much fun
Rubber dicky I'm awfully fond of you - 
(do doo doo do doo doo)

Rubber dicky toy of toys
When you're in me I make noise
Rubber dicky you're my very best friend it's true